I’ve been taking more time lately to just step back and appreciate my surroundings. My views, perspective, thoughts, music, all have been syncing in much deeper than before. There’s a deeper feeling of content within me, although in the back of my mind, I know I shouldn’t be. With each passing day, I’m seeing myself moving further and further to a life where I’m happy that my “job” and my life coexist as close to perfectly as possible, where I am unchained creatively and follow my own path instead of the one being laid out for me according to an age-old tradition. But in order for me to reach this destination, I must survive the current predicament I have put myself in.
Over the past month, I have bought most of the film equipment I need to get my journey started, the biggest purchase being the camera. As a result, I have almost run out of money, do not have a clue where my next dollar is coming from, and find myself limiting the amount of food I eat & buy to help me survive until the week before thanksgiving when I go back home. My mom is not in a position to help me and my dad has helped me enough to where I can’t even fix myself to ask him for anything else, least of all money. I’ve resorted to selling some of my movies to help get me by, some to my roommate, others to an online site where I can get rid of the ones that they believe are worth something, although as a film lover, I believe that all of the movies I own are worth something.
I told myself and all of you that I am freeing myself to talk about anything. I’m starting to see and experience what everyone in the startup community talk about. They willingly put themselves in a position where everything around them is scarce, relationships are strained, where all you have is an idea and the tools to make that idea a reality, because nothing is more important to them than what they want and believe in. The way I see it, all of the people I admire in my age group are well into what they want to do with their lives, and most of them don’t have a special talent to accelerate the process, I’m trying to play catch-up! I’m not regretting any of the decisions I made, but I am feeling the effects, and I still manage to not let it show, at least physically. No matter what I’m going through right now, I still manage to keep a healthy mind state, not worry about the seemingly negative situation I’m in, and still take time to appreciate the world around me.
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photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/xerones/141357725/”>Xerones</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a>