That F Word

The word “Friendship” is the topic of conversation in my mind. Who do we choose to create these relationships and moments with, who have we left out, who should we leave out, the decisions we make that stem from our friendship, stuff like that. It seems to me that the measuring bar of what we consider a “friend” has gotten pretty low, and getting lower. This has been a mid-sized topic in my mind because even though I already know how I feel about the relationships I have with the people in my life, for some reason I find myself turning these thoughts into the Inception movie when processing each individual relationship.

I went through the contact list on my phone & realized that I have some pretty obvious relationships with people whom are by societies standards are “Friends”, but it becomes pretty obvious that they probably shouldn’t be. For example,

  1. The “Friend” who claims she misses me, but doesn’t hang out with me because she is always busy with her sorority sisters. The problem here is that I seem to always answer when this same friend either needs help when her car runs out of gas or needs money to help pay her fees to this sorority that she has been anxious to join, after already being rejected once……………
  2. The “Friend” whom I do keep in contact with on a regular basis, but keep questioning how I benefit from this relationship. I can go to a store, to a restaurant, to a movie, or just hang at anyone’s house, but am I gaining something from each interaction, or am I just wasting time?

I’m not making these points to vent or complain, I feel pretty neutral and content right now. I just want to make the point to take time to examine the people you keep close and you might find that you need to release more people than you think and direct your attention to those who actually appreciate you and what you contribute to each others lives. Keep the people like

3.  The Friend who keeps encouraging and feeding off positive energy, whom you can talk to about ideas and help guide one another.


4. The Friend who you have your good and bad moments with, but is always there when you need them, regardless of distance.

Check your phone and see how many people are there that shouldn’t be. I have become a victim of accepting the current measuring bar of what we call a friend, but not anymore. There have been plenty cases where I would meet someone one semester, talk with them, even hang out with them, but eventually find them becoming just another face on campus. I’m trying hard on working on keeping in touch with the people in my life that deserve it, but I always find myself putting other matters ahead that do not need my constant attention. I am learning, growing, and learning, this is all I can do.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Feel free to let me know! Also be sure to subscribe to The Wingfield Blog!

Thank You,







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